No light in your bright blue eyes
by inyourarmsnow
Summary: Merlin's magic is revealed, and he thinks that Arthur will never feel the same about him again. A Merthur songfic to No Light by Florence & the Machine.


**A songfic to No Light, No Light by Florence & the Machine, for my lovely Merthur :) I listened to this song on repeat while writing this, and yes it is completely stuck in my head now. But it's a wonderful song; I suggest you head on over to Youtube and check it out :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merthur, unfortunately, or the wonderful song I tied in. **

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><p><em>You are the hole in my head<em>

_You are the space in my bed_

_You are the silence in between_

_What I thought, and what I said_

Merlin flew backwards, landing sharply against a tree, his head slamming painfully into the trunk. The throbbing began immediately, a loud pounding in his skull. The warm stickiness of his own blood ran in rivulets down his neck, soaking his hair and scarf. Stars, glittering and twinkling in the space before him, clouded his vision and made the idea of closing his eyes, just for a moment, just for a quick rest, seem so appealing. He couldn't though; Arthur was still out there, still fighting.

The beast shrieked, a harsh bloodcurdling sound, sending Merlin's aching head spinning and a sharp chill down his spine, which he was surprised was still intact. It swiped its claws at the armored figure below, claws larger than any sword a knight could wield. It violently made contact with its prey, knocking the knight off his feet. Alone among his dead and dying brethren, he brandished his sword out in front of him, attempting a jab at the creature, but it was no use. He was practically defenseless. The dark feathered beast landed before its target, threw its head back with another awful wail, and plunged downwards, fierce beak open in attack.

"ARTHUR!" Merlin screamed, his hand flying out before him. He felt the little magic that remained in him leave with a numbness spreading through his body as he aimed it all at the beast, his eyes turning their distinctive shade of gold. The world suddenly fell silent as he focused all his power at the creature towering over Arthur's defenseless figure. The leaves rustled in slow motion, the cries of the animal were muted, and all he could hear was his own labored breath, joining his racing heartbeat in a chorus inside his head. The beast flew backwards with a cry of pain, falling crumpled in a heap of feathers and claws on the other side of the clearing, and all the sound rushed back to Merlin at once, hitting him like blow in the chest. He fell back against the tree trunk once more, his head screaming in pain, and he searched the battleground. He was alive. Arthur was alive, and staring straight at him, eyes wide in fear and awe. Merlin's stomach sank, and he tried to swallow, his throat tight and dry like sandpaper. He knew. Arthur knew. His eyes closed and the world became black around him.

_No light, no light_

_In your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight_

_Could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can chose what stays and what fades away_

"Merlin," Arthur whispered. He pulled himself up off the ground and, despite the pains shooting through his leg, ran to the tree where his manservant lay. "No, no," he repeated, dropping to his knees next to the other boy's still body. Cold was washing over him, filling his insides with ice. If Merlin was dead….

"No!" Tears welled over in Arthur's eyes, spilling down his cheeks and landing in scattered drops across Merlin's chest. Arthur fell back and pulled him onto his lap, cradling his manservant's head in his hands. He ripped off Merlin's scarf and pressed it to the wound, trying to contain the blood that had already stained his shoulders and tunic. His heart felt as though it had been killed with the beast, seeing the life drain from Merlin right before his eyes. Arthur's shoulders sagged, and his tears dripped onto Merlin's cheeks, his hands grasping his clothes so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Suddenly a cough escaped Merlin's pale lips and Arthur fell silent, lowering his ear to Merlin's nose. The softest breath tickled his neck and relief washed through him.

"Come on, Merlin," he laughed gratefully, shaking the boy's shoulder. "Come on, stay with me." His hand brushed Merlin's cheek, and his eyes slowly blinked open. Arthur sniffled and wiped at the tears falling silently down his face. "That's it," Arthur smiled. "Wake up you useless clotpole; I'm not going to let you die on me. Not now." The manservant groaned, his hand moving to clutch the back of his head in agony. Arthur shifted, allowing him to lay back against the ground, his head still resting in Arthur's lap. He stroked Merlin's hair off his forehead with a sigh, realizing how lucky he was. He didn't lose Merlin. He was alive; hurt and bleeding, but alive.

"Clotpole is my word you prat," Merlin mumbled through tired lips and Arthur chuckled, leaning down to silence him with a kiss.

_Through the crowd I was_

_Crying out and_

_In your place_

_There were a thousand other faces_

_I was disappearing in plain sight_

_Heaven help me, I need to make it right_

Arthur bound down the steps of the castle, his red cloak billowing out behind him. He pushed past servants and maids, elbowing his way out into the square. No, he couldn't leave like this. He would follow him on horseback if he had to, but Merlin wasn't leaving him.

He threw open the doors and ran outside, the sun hitting him in the face, blinding him momentarily, and he stopped at the top of the stairs.

"MERLIN!" he called out across the courtyard. People stopped and faces turned to look up at him, to look up at the prince of Camelot standing on the steps in his red cloak, bellowing desperately for his manservant, the one he would not, _could not_, lose. His eyes, stinging with the threat of tears, searched every face that looked up at him, none of them familiar, none of them Merlin. His heart dropped, instantly expecting the worst. Merlin was gone. He had left.

But no, he hadn't, and Arthur froze when he caught sight of his miserable excuse of a manservant purchasing some bread from one of the bakers outside the castle, wrapping it in a cloth and tucking it into his rucksack.

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted again, tearing across the square, dodging between people and horses. Merlin looked up, his eyes catching Arthur's, and he froze.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" Arthur spat breathlessly, coming to a stop just feet in front of where Merlin stood. He opened his mouth to answer, but Arthur cut him off. "Leaving? You thought you could just leave and I wouldn't notice? I wouldn't care?" Merlin took a cautious step forward, and Arthur's core burned with the desire to slap him across the face and pull him into his arms, never letting him leave.

"You're making a scene," Merlin whispered under his breath, the blue of his eyes glaring threateningly into Arthur's own.

"Oh, _I'm _making a scene? Me?" Arthur yelled, indeed attracting the attention of those standing around the two of them. "Well I'll make a scene if I bloody well want to, but you are not just going to get on a horse and trot out of here like none of this ever happened!" He grabbed Merlin's shirt in his fist and pulled him closer until they were inches apart, and Merlin could see the tears falling silently down the prince's cheeks. Arthur's voice dropped to just above a whisper. "Don't leave me," he cried desperately, his face flushed with anger and desire and all of the things he wanted to say.

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light, no light_

_Tell me what you want me to say_

_Would you leave me_

_If I told you what I've done? _

_And would you leave me, _

_If I told you what I've become_

_Cause it's so easy to sing it to the crowd_

_But it's so hard, my love_

_To say it to you, all alone_

"I can't stay," Merlin whispered, wanting so badly to reach up, to brush the tears off Arthur's face, to kiss his cheeks, to wrap his arms around him, but remaining still, the heat of Arthur's fist against his chest holding him back. "I'm sorry," he choked, tears in his own eyes now as well. "I didn't mean for you to find out like that-."

"Find out about what?" Arthur whispered, his voice tight and strained. His eyes searched Merlin's face frantically for any explanation. "About what you did, in the clearing? You saved my life, that's all there is to it." Merlin closed his eyes, his shoulders falling.

"But you know, you know I lied, and now that you know you're just going to be in danger-" Arthur shook his head in protest, looking at the other boy with pleading eyes. "You must hate me."

"No!" Arthur said, the sudden volume of his voice making Merlin jump. His fist released Merlin's shirt and flew up to cup his jaw, the other knotting in his hair. He pulled their foreheads together desperately. "I could _never_ hate you, Merlin," he whispered, and there, in front of all the people in the square, not caring who saw them, Arthur kissed his frustrating sorcerer. Merlin's arms wrapped around him, aggravation and hunger and love all fighting to get through in the meeting of their lips. Arthur's mind traced over all the other kisses they had shared, all wonderful and full of passion, but never with this much longing. He had never felt the need to have Merlin by his side and in his arms stronger than he did at this moment, just when he thought he had lost him.

They broke apart, the only contact shattered being the one of their lips, as Arthur wouldn't dare let Merlin move an inch.

"You are _not _leaving, and that's an order." Merlin smiled the goofy grin that Arthur was so fond of, and tucked his head into the prince's neck, feeling Arthur reach up to stroke his hair. The prince and his sorcerer, two sides of the same coin, never to be apart.

_You are the revelation _

_Some kind of resolution_

_You are the revelation_

_You are the revelation_

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><p><em>Comments are much appreciated. They keep me writing even when I'm uninspired :)<em>


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